Sunday, September 6, 2009

El tiempo de nuestro amor.

Nuestro amor bloomed during Spring and fittingly died in October.


Barbara Lorraine said...

Did my last melancholy post make you sad and emo about feelings and romance and stuff? Because it seems between this and Can't Hardly Wait, I may have swayed your brain :-P I kid, I kid.

Really though, you can go either way with this. It works just as well as an epitaph as it would if it belonged to a longer piece. One suggestion: pair the verbs as if they belonged to a couple. So if the relationship died, don't say it bloomed, but rather speak to the notion of birth, of living, of beginning. Bloom does work, but it's not as effective, especially in such a short setting. Or if you keep bloomed, then speak to a more floral persuasion of verb for the end of the relationship. It'll really strengthen your metaphor.

Don't take out the Spanish. The Spanish is a victory.

Geoff said...

The Spanish is definitely a nice touch here, and I really like the personification-by-capitalization of "Spring." So much accomplished with just the shift key!

I think BarLor's got a point, but I think that given the fact you only have a sentence to work with, there's nothing wrong with striving for a little variety either.