Coldstone Tip Songs and this is just to say

Two parody songs I wrote as Tip Songs when I worked at Coldstone Creamery:

Fresh Prince of Bel Air (TV Theme Song)
Now this is a song all about how we flipped your taste buds upside-down
So just take a second and stand right there,
You put a tip in our jar so we'll sing then cheer! (yeah!)

One Week (By The Barenaked Ladies)
It's been real great serving you ice cream
Throw a tip in the jar; it makes us want to scream
Thank you for coming in
Saying mix those together so I could begin
Five scoops of gummy bears...
I really like em', but man that makes me kinda scared.
But like I said, "Hey, it's your ice cream"
Just hope it's not a week 'till you come back to see me.


The poem "this is just to say" by William Carlos Williams has become a bit of a phenomenon as something to parody willy-nilly. So here are my attempts:

I have stomped on your foot getting off the tram
and that destroys your chances of ever winning your race
Forgive me. It was a softer landing than the road

I have shot your mother whom you loved
while you were on your way for Mothers day
Forgive me. The spray was beautiful. So red and so wet.

Semi-Structured Poems

Snow fall!
Now fall!
No fail!
N il!

Snow's not been here in many-a-year.
At least four, I think, if not more.
It's flurrying down,
to a slurrying ground.

People, people everywhere,
And none of them did blink;
People, people everywhere,
Nor and need to think.

Power is exchanged
It's a huge hoopla for the
inaguration.

People are all over the room
Listen, it's as quiet as a tomb.
The announcer then speaks
All rise to their feet
To herald a new era sans doom.

Five Limericks

The subject is the last word or phrase. It's not quite the synthesis desired, but they were fun to write.

A super-computer became bored
It searched through the internet horde
It found Einstein's lost son
in a server and won
An Exceptional Collector Award.

Self named albums have long been around
They help rock bands establish their sound
The lists from the sixties
of albums all pick these
because of The Velvet Underground.

Kilimanjaro is a marquee
It helps landscape exposition, you see?
A photographer knows,
So preeminence goes
To Hatsutarō Horiuchi.

Oxyanion Aluminate
Tetrahydroxyborate Nitrate
Cyanate Hydroxide
Plumbate Superoxide
Carbonite Manganate Bisulfite

Mario had a size crescendo
eating a mushroom (innuendo?)
He ate buildings going
onto other things, growing
larger until he ate Nintendo.