Friday, July 17, 2009

Post Secrets and Broomsticks

So before I get to my piece, are we allowed to link or post to the post secret we're doing? And sorry for the delayed post/lack of posts, I just moved back home to the States and with two 400 level classes to get through this summer, things have been hectic. In case I can't post the post secret, here's a description: Take the 40 year old Virgin movie poster and envision "This movie was hilarious...but it also made me nervous...what if I end up like this guy?" written around Steve Carrel.

Here's a link: and my poem:




Need to STOP.

His shirt is undone (Or is it?),

Pulses raging,


to stop (Really?).

Raging on,






All over,

Touching, touching, TOUCHING.

He wants it bad,

My body quivers

In anTi-ciPAtion (of what?).

Love me (He pleads),

As I lay here barring my soul,

In need of someone to love me.

1 comment:

Barbara Lorraine said...

I totally know which card you're talking about. For serious.

Totally love your rendering of anticipation. Believe it or not, I always have trouble trying to convey emphasis, now that I'm so used to putting asterisks around everything!

One suggestion: lose the commas and the question marks. Your readers can and will infer the beats and the questions from your formatting. Maybe even cut down on periods. But leave the parentheses :-) You're already in control of how we are reading your poem--you don't need the extra help.

And if you did do that, consider switching the capitalization on "Touching touching TOUCHING." It'll lead us up from the base to the plateau if we move from all lowercase up to all caps through "touching Touching TOUCHING."

Sexy times, my man!